Why Self-Esteem is Necessary to Future-Proof Your Child, and How to Give It to Them

The formal study of the psychology of self-esteem is a modern development, while the concept itself is timeless, immemorial and universal to the nature of the human mind. That we only recently discovered it as an intellectual category and began to examine its principles and the practical applications thereof in concrete detail does not mean that self-esteem was not an operant condition of the human psyche throughout history.

The spirit of the ancient world and the pre-modern past is often thought to be one of tradition and imposed order. Every person was born into a certain station in life which they would inhabit, without change or any particular effort, until their death. Another way to consider this set of circumstances is that the past was a place of entitlement. Entitlement often carries a pejorative connotation indicating undue privilege, but in its broadest sense it applies to any situation in which people deem what they have and what they are due to be a function of “who they are” rather than “what they have done” and it applies to high and low alike.

The emergence of markets, of dynamic technologies and of new thinking about meritocratic social orders heralded the arrival of the age of personal responsibility trodding over the threshold of the age of entitlement. In this new world, the modern world, people had new opportunities to change their station and position in life through strategic ideas and the will to carry it out. Life outcomes began to shift from what role or relationship they were born into, to being due more and more to individual thinking and decisions people made over the course of their lives.

This age of responsibility, unlike the age of entitlement that preceded it, demands active engagement with the psychology of self-esteem to maximize the opportunities presented. Rather than finding oneself resentful, frustrated and confused by an ever-changing society, business and technological landscape, the individual who has mastered the psychology of self-esteem is enabled to continue to change their own ideas and with them, their actions, in relation to this kaleidoscopic shifting of external reality and continually stand to benefit from whatever arrangement it takes. In contrast, the individual living with entitlement feels threatened by change, discouraged by having to think and come up with new plans and ultimately concludes that personal transformation is hopeless and if they can not benefit from progress, they ought to stand in its way and at least enjoy the satisfaction of gumming it up for their historical antagonists and enemies.

The parenting of the past, founded on authority and parental license and the diminution of the individual identity of the child to prepare him or her for their “entitled” adult future, is a severe liability in the modern world and one which few have come to terms with or even understand as a problem. An ever-changing future demands a growth, rather than a fixed, mindset, and a growth mindset stems from confidence in the self’s ability to remain flexible and adapt to new conditions. In other words, a growth mindset is directly tied to the psychology of self-esteem.

Self-esteem being at root a relationship that one has with oneself — feelings of personal worthiness and the capability to seize the good in life — it is incumbent upon parents who wish to “future-proof” their children in a world of hyperactive change to start in infancy with a parenting approach based upon respect. The respect shown for the infant becomes a model for the later child and future adult in how they should relate to themselves.

In other words, parents who wish to benefit from the modern knowledge of the psychology of self-esteem so as to arm their children with a growth mindset in a continuously developing world that demands the greatest creativity and flexibility of thinking to seize the numerous advantages presented on an almost daily basis, should start by grounding their parenting approach in respect for the individual child before them.

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Review – Getting Started in Consulting

Getting Started in Consulting, 4th ed

by Alan Weiss, published 2019

Estimate costs to reasonably support yourself and your family for 1 full year and set this money aside as initial startup costs for consulting

10 Key Traits of Successful Consultants

  1. Humor and perspective
  2. Influence
  3. Confidence and self-esteem
  4. Fearlessness/honesty
  5. Rapid framing (identifying the problem)
  6. Value generation (offering ideas and resources without jealousy)
  7. Intellect
  8. Active listening
  9. Instantiation
  10. Responsiveness

Finding space

  • Needs to be dedicated, private, spacious; need to be able to leave your stuff
  • Don’t want to incur large expense; consider professional service firms with unused space for rent (accountants, lawyers, designers, marketing)
  • Minimize commute
  • Need access at all hours

Startup equipment

  • Laptop, speed and capability for 3 years minimum
  • Copier
  • Postage meter + scale, online Stamps account

Necessary specialist help with professional staff, entrepreneurial bent, accessible, resourceful, same risk-profile:

  • Legal; incorporation
  • Accounting, finance, tax; deductions of reasonable expenses such as medical fees, director’s fees, director’s meetings, salaries to household members for assistance, business credit, withholding and payroll tax strategy, office + equipment, memberships and subscriptions
  • Business banking; a relationship manager to handle questions, expedited banking services, small biz surfaces, SBA-related assistance and opportunities, manage the relationship with the banker and trade business opportunities
  • Designer; letterhead, logo, brochure + publicity materials, media kit, web design
  • Insurance broker; disability, E&O (malpractice), liability, property, major medical and health, term life insurance, umbrella liability, long-term care, etc.
  • Payroll assistance
  • Bookkeeping

Marketing, develop market gravity through:

  • Press kit
    • Client Results/Expected Benefits, what do they get?
    • Testimonials, what have people said about you?
    • Biographical sketch, who are you? accomplishments, credentials and background
    • Position papers/white papers, 2-6 pages outlining ideas or opinions on relevant topics to your consulting work (copyright it)
    • Reference list + contacts, try to fill a page
  • Stationary, letterhead, secondsheets, envelopes, address labels, business cards
  • Networking involves providing value to others to generate reciprocity and becoming interesting to others so they’ll direct others to you; try to do something networking-related at least once per week
    • Buyers
    • Media people
    • Key vendors
    • Mentors
    • Recommenders to buyers
    • Endorsers
    • Bankers
    • Key advisors
    • High profile biz people
    • Trade association execs
    • Community leaders
    • Execs planning conferences and meetings
  • Pro-bono work should be confined to visible, connected non-profits that engage you with potential paying clients who are also donating their time

Advanced marketing

  • Website, as credibility builder, not sales builder or ad
    • clear image about expertise
    • reasons to return (changing content, newsletter)
    • credibility of self and firm
    • personal contact
    • expected results
  • Commercial and self-publishing
    • find publications your target audience reads
  • Media interviews, print, web, radio, TV– PRLeads.com
  • Speaking engagements, National Trade and Professional Associations of the United States
  • Newsletters

Key principles of consulting sales

  • Clients come from relationships, not sales
  • Relationships exist with people, not organizations
  • Think from the buyer’s perspective
  • Focus on outcomes, not methodology
  • Trust comes from convincing people you have their interests at heart
  • Provide value to build trust

Gaining conceptual agreement

  1. What are the objectives to be achieved through this project?
    1. How would conditions improve as a result of this project?
    2. Ideally, what would you like to accomplish?
    3. What would be the difference in the organization if this was successful?
    4. How would your customers be better served?
    5. What is the ROI/ROE/ROA impact you seek?
    6. What is the shareholder impact you seek?
    7. How will you be evaluated in terms of the results of this project?
    8. What keeps you up at night?
    9. What are the top 3 priorities to accomplish?
  2. How will we measure progress and success?
    1. How will you know we’ve accomplished the objective?
    2. Who will be accountable for determining progress and how?
    3. What info would we need from customers, vendors and employees to measure our progress?
    4. How will the environment or culture be improved?
    5. How frequently should we assess progress and how?
    6. What is acceptable improvement? What is ideal improvement?
    7. How will you prove to others the objective has been met?
  3. What is the value or impact to the organization?
    1. What would be the impact if you did nothing at all?
    2. What would happen if this project failed?
    3. What does this mean to you personally?
    4. What is the difference for the organization’s customers/employees?
    5. How will this affect performance or productivity?
    6. How will this affect profitability/market share/competitive advantage?
    7. What is this currently costing you annually and what might you gain or save?

Focus on developing “small yeses”

  • Initial contact, hear background, read some material, agree to second contact
  • Second contact, brief meeting
  • Brief meeting, form relationship, substantiative meeting
  • Second meeting, conceptual agreement
  • Proposal, acceptance and initiation

7 Elements of Great Proposals

  1. Situation appraisal (linkage to previous discussions)
  2. Conceptual agreement components
    1. Objectives
    2. Measures of success
    3. Expression of value
  3. Methodologies and options (provide a menu)
  4. Timing, when does the project begin and end
  5. Joint accountabilities
  6. Terms and conditions
  7. Acceptance